You’re ablest around

Nothing’s ever gonna keep you down

He fortunately avoided the train, but unfortunately still owns a Tesla.

Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe

That kids name? Matt Turk

Father, who lives in the home

This is useful because you can’t just assume that the dad lives in the same house with the child. This is probably a detail from the police report that the editor thought was relevant enough to leave in.

Inside the home where the child lives

This is useful because it specifies that they are talking about the child’s home. With this being a crime story, they could also be taking about the suspect’s home, which was most likely searched after he was arrested. It is awkwardly worded because the editor probably wanted to avoid using the phrase “child’s home,” which could incorrectly imply ownership. Or, that’s just how it was worded in the police report and the editor was too lazy to fix it.

The article is using a police press release as its source. The reporter may also be looking at some official police report. Police reports are not written like news articles, and contain a lot of “legalese” phrasing, irrelevant detail, and repetition that an editor would need to rewrite and cobble together into a short news article. This doesn’t always work perfectly.

I’m not saying this is a well-written article, but there is nothing in here to indicate that it was written by AI. Just good 'ol human error.

“You might enjoy F1 racing, but I value fuel-efficient commuters more.”

We can like both things.

Is “dozens” a large amount?

Never-nudes: no

Safety flaws in aircraft production: yes

Coulda bought 8 of these instead, just sayin’

We must secure the warm water port and potato croplands for vodk- er um I mean american french fried potatoes

Fuckin corpos, man

(takes a sip out of 1999 The Phantom Menace Taco Bell promotional cup)

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

In pretty sure it would involve a hierarchy based on which monkeys are best at beating other monkeys to death with typewriters.

This also worked for me:

I stopped using reddit, because it turned to shit.

I’m eagerly awaiting the demise of Blu-Ray so I can finally get use of my HD-DVD player.

Just need to mod out that PSU fan and it’ll be perfect

Dogmeat from Fallout 2.5

Not now, Madeline!

Busting your ass for your current job will never be better than expending the same amount of energy finding a better job.

Are you content with your current job and getting good pay, good benefits, normal promotions/raises etc. while performing a reasonable workload? Great, keep it up. If you have extra time and energy, focus on self-improvement, family, hobbies, etc.

Are you feeling underpaid, under-appreciated, or generally unhappy with your job? Are you in a position where you can maintain your health and sanity while working harder to improve things? Great, keep working just hard enough not to get fired, and pour all of your extra time and energy into finding a better job. Never give it to your current job.

Loyalty to the company is an outdated idea. Dont let some out-of-touch CEO sell you on that bullshit. The way to improve your situation is to job hop. There’s no shame in it. Expect to do it several times before you really figure out where you want to be.