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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: October 19th, 2023

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  • I hope people are OK with cis people being OK with themselves. I fully support trans people. I recently had a letter published in our local paper about how if trans people ever do act out, (this was in regard to a shooter who had identified as a trans person) it will be because of all the bigotry and hateful legislation driving them (and many others of us LGBTQ) to do something extreme.

    You get put down for being LGBTQ, and then you get put down for defending yourself whatever your gender or orientation. It’s a no-win situation.



  • That’s true also. And what’s weird is, I’m gay but I’ve known a couple guys who were cis and dressed up as females because, it felt empowering to them. And they were both straight in terms of their orientation, one had a girlfriend, the other guy was married.

    So it’s kind of strange to be a gay person who is friendly (which I am), people open up to me about all kinds of things and, it’s just assumed I will be OK with anything (because I’m gay? I guess) so, I’ve seen all kinds of things.

    For the most part I accept others no matter what, because we all need validation and we all need to feel that. But i do get push back when I post that I’m cis and happy to be cis, like that’s somehow unacceptable or disrespectful to others. It isn’t meant to be at all.



  • Well you shouldn’t base your posts on whether or not people will “downvote” it. If they do it’s usually because you’ve told the truth or said something they’d rather not hear. And after all, this isn’t supposed to be a popularity contest. Online forums are the last place you should be seeking validation or a sense of self-worth, because you usually won’t get it.

    You should be willing to post honestly and openly about anything. If it gets downvoted, so be it. I see it as almost a way of measuring how much of what I said really affected people.




  • I’m a gay man who is happily embracing his cis-genderness but I would not shun trans people as the top figure in this graphic is doing. It seems like he’s totally averse to even thinking about the concept.

    Yet there’s a lot of hostility toward cis people being happy about being cis, though we are kind of expected to fully support trans people embracing being trans. And I do - I just want the same sort of respect for being happily cis-gendered. For me, my gayness is about embracing the masculine (in every sense) and loving being born male. I know that gender and sexuality are unique for everyone - so my philosophy is, whatever you wish to be, embrace it fully and love it.


  • These are all bad ideas. The more you change yourself to “please” everyone else, the less happy you will ever be. One of the hardest lessons of life is to learn that, you can’t ever please everyone, and when you change to please someone, they’ll soon change what they want and you’ll never stop having to change to please them.

    The real secret to happiness is not to change yourself at all. It’s to learn how to like who you are, the way you are. Yes the world is cruel and cold - and it’s awlays going to be that way. You aren’t the problem here. You are fine just the way you are, and it’s a secret that could save many lives and keep many people from self-harm if they only realized it at a younger age.

    The truth is, nobody wants someone around them who is trying to please them all the time. They want to be around someone who is self-confident and radiates a healthy well-adjusted persona that says “this is who I am, love it or leave it.”

    Becoming rich to attract people may work to attract people, but they’ll only be attracted by the money, not by you. As soon as that runs out, so will they. And usually they will run out anyway, even if the money doesn’t.

    You need to get some help with your attitude about yourself, and start deciding that you’re OK as you are. Do not do the surgery option - it’s wrong. Women who get surgery to “look more like so and so” are never happy. Surgery isn’t the answer to your problems in life, at all.